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March I made some changes in my life

So in March I made some changes in my life in regards to food.
Originally I was doing interment fasting, fasting every Monday with a group of women #NewFastGirl. During this time of fasting I was able to see what and why I was eating.
I was able to gain some serious understand in regards to my connection or relationship with food. I had no relationship with food I just ate because you are supposed to eat and certain times of the day. I did not pay attention to what I ate at all. Going out to eat was so difficult because I had so many options, nothing was off limits.
The 1st week of march I made a change – I didn’t say how long I was going to do something I just said I was going to do it. I took some b4 pictures I joined a work out challenge #LTGKTB and I said to myself – Try it out. THIS IS NOT A DIET, is what I said.
*Sidenote; I grew up with a mother that was on diets most of my life I HATE DIETS so I in my almost 40 yrs I have never been on a diet. I pray over my food….. Then I eat …

14/30 If you knew me...

I was reminded of my responsibility this evening.
stumbled upon a video, and then hundreds more entitled.
If you knew me...

Our children are stressed out
picking on each other
attacking
any and every difference
isolating each other

our girls
our young girls

should never
be filled
with so much fear
the cut in the morning
as a release
to make it thru the day

purge after gym
to full from
holding in shame

So insecure
I wonder
the secrets
the name caller has

why hate
slides past her lips
as easy
as butter on pancakes

Fat.Stupid.Ugly
retard.fag.
die

what would make it ok
to offer an option
of suicide

condone such an act
and even
after
the names shot
past your lips

with perfect aim
landing

as a cut
on the arm
she will still

with badge hanging
offer to hug you
her heart
is not harmed

kim 15
smiled
after
she shared her story
and offered
an open ear

I told her
she

13/30 - 1965

Who
can turn Slavery
to presidency

3 bedroom
to
8 sleeping
8 eating
cleaning and living

inanimate to adamant

those born
and would like to live
Kings

would sacrifice
to survive

beat me
shattered

heritage mystery
professor
confused on Roots

Uproot and fight
Stand with pride

Shame on you

we
fear
not eating
sparing self
for growth
for defence
of family

every black family
has a revolutionary
or a Gangster
2 calls away

They come
guns drawn

He prays
they don't kill him
knows
what will happen
if they do

1968
black man
murdered
for participating
in his god given right
to protect his family

burning
over 40 years

hot
off the
presses

another black man shot
another cole in the
fire

11/30 married with children

I miss my friends today this morning at this moment I missed my friends  but I am reminded of seasons
that made it just bit easier

12/30 - The Titanic

Why I have never seen the Titanic

I knew getting on the ship
was a bad idea to begin with.
I'm Black 

Stay Home.

The Click Song 10/30

Mrs.Makeba

You made brown skin
so desirable
as a little redbone girl
I was fascinated by your beauty
your complexion

The undeniable fact
of your blackness
your African cheeks
nose and chin
your language
fitting your features
African
I never had that
never looked black
always could have been mixed

second language
was spanish

In Johannesburg  
where you were born
where all the children
carry african names
and blood
and features
like you

some called me black
because of my locs
only thing that saved me
the natural kinck in my hair
unloc’d
would have
guaranteed me colored

Mama Africa
your politics
lived past your years
you survived
apartheid and
exile

your songs
brilliantly
inspired
generations

your smile
can light up any stage
every room 
is easily filled with your voice
Miriam
you were Africa
to a redbone American girl
fascinated
by the Xhosa language
the click song played at my wedding

and I was a young girl
getting married
and i found it fitting
that you would be there .

Hot Pink 9/30

9//30


hot pink blush
isnt getting much use
these day

get’em girl jeans
aint gettin no love
these days

flip flops
more often than heels
these days

lucky to find the time
for pedicures
or manicures

peanut butter
and banana
sandwich
with a green smoothie

quick and easy
in between laundry
and breast feeding

I got my nails done

felt guilt while I was gone
smiled
like I was being sneaky

Husband said I need to do it more often
I deserve it
Son wanted to go next time
so he can paint them for me
both my men said I looked pretty

I still washed dishes that night
I still made dinner
gave the baby a bath
and nursed her til she fell asleep

but I did it with hot pink
barbie nails