4:00am 4/30

baby is full and sleeping
in her bassinet

4oz of milk
pumped and frozen

checked on my little man
covered his legs
kissed his forehead
husbands hand is searching the
warm spot I once lay in
it’s 4 am

Im counting money
planning meals
sorting clothes
and checking emails

I took a shower
with toys around my feet
at the usual time
midnight

I didn't sleep very long
sleep is overrated
and hard to come by
some days

Whenever you have a moment
that you can make 100% yours

take it
bask in it

I prayed out loud in a whisper
did 25 crunches
ate a banana and a slice of cake
watched rupaul's drag race
and drank hot tea with honey
nettle, raspberry and fenugreek
with no fear of burning a baby

I did my own thang
uninterrupted
for 48 mins.

for 48 mins
no one called me mommy
no one nursed from me
or spooned me
no diapers were changed
no owies were kissed
no bottoms whipped
no questions about breakfast
about lunch or dinner
no questions repeated fiftyleven times
no whining
no crying

only peace
and the breeze

calmly after 10 mins of meditation
I return to bed
to spoon
to cuddle
to rest

my children
are safe, fed and dreaming

what more can a mother/wife ask for
at 4 in the morning